If you die tonight would you be saved or would you face eternal punishment?
-I'm just trying to live the righteous way. How can I be a Christian, reflect himself through everything I do when I am being constantly tempted. He knows how my story will end. He knows.
Sometimes I wish I could just encounter Jesus and he would just read my heart and tell me "go your sins have been forgiven" and I'd have the reassurance of being forgiven and saved right there and then. But here I am with a short memory trying to remember what sinful thought that had crossed my mind, what sinful actions I've made, and sinful words I've said and wondering whether or not I'm completely forgiven... Whether or not my name is in the Book of Life.
How can I get a chance to be a Christian when the people of God are waiting to throw rocks at me? How can I ask him to forgive me when he's done telling me over and over again not to go down this road? How can I see the light, how can I hear his voice and how can I speak the truth? I want to be rescued but I don't know how to cry out for help.
Has he forsaken me? Why am I sinking in an ocean of sins? Why am I feeling guilty?
-Is it you speaking to me Lord, is it you calling my name? How do I walk to you? I want to be humble, I want to be yours but everything in this life has already claimed me. How do I get rid of my past when I'm chained to its requests? I feel dead away from your cares, I want to come back home and live right but which direction should I take? Which turn should I avoid? I really can't do it. Please Lord show me the way and help me stay home.
