The Troubled Soul. By: Anne Dorothée Constant

Death.

Should I wait for it, or should I look for it?

Am I being selfish for wanting to end it

Or am I for once pleasing myself?

What is like to die? And leave all those you loved behind? What is it like to leave so many sad faces and broken hearts? They call it death but its just a deep sleep ill be in. What is it like to be peaceful? To not feel any pain, to not feel weighted down by the hardship of life?

When I watch the dead, they seem relaxed, and well rested; but when I look around, the livings are tormented and broken. Is it what I want to keep on experiencing? Is it being selfish for not wanting to live another pain? Am I being ungrateful for the privilege given to me? Or does HE understand that I have no more strength left to fight? I won't live forever, I will die one day, but what if I choose the day, the time, and the place? 

I love you all but if I stay wouldn't it mean that I hate myself? I want to know the true meaning of peace, I want to be unaware of negativity. I don't want to stay in a corner and be depressed! I want this weight to be lifted up from my heart, my shoulders and body. I care for you all but if being selfish means for me to be happy, let it be. 

 Because I'm tired of fighting an already lost war.

The one that screamed,but never once was heard By: Anne Dorothée Constant

She hid her feelings so she wouldnt be hurt anymore
but it was killing her in the inside.
She blocked herself from the rest of the world
felt all sad and lonely and cold.
Never once she spoke her heart
for it was already broken.
Never once she opened up
for she was surrounded by tall walls.
She forgot how to smile
how to hug
how to love
for she was hurt so many times before.
She asked why was life so harsh on her?
but everything seemed silent
giving her more reason to cry.
She tried to scream at the top of her lungs
but no one paid mind to her
she knew she was alone.
had nowhere to go.
She swore not to give a chance anymore
but she knew that she needed to feel like before
this old feeling that would just fill her lungs with oxygen.
She was just another little girl who'd scream for some love
but no one seemed to care enough
to help her through her misery.
People saw what they just wanted to see in her.
Beauty but never knew what was behind these sad tears.
She walked alone, she died alone
and never once was heard.
she hoped for love but never found it
for it was far gone...

On the Right Path! By: Anne Dorothée Constant

Who am I? What are my purposes? What do I want? What do I need? Who can I rely on?

Are these questions unanswered to you? Do you know where you're heading to?

I was just like that before! Lost, and hard headed. I thought I knew it all until I got my back pressed against a wall and was looking at all the mistakes I've done along the way.

My view wasn't pleasant, I had to find a way to help me grow mentally and transform me into a better person. Took me time but with a few steps that I followed, I became the girl that I never thought anybody would be proud of.

- Who are you?

Discovering yourself is the most amazing thing in life. By knowing yourself you will be able to identify your needs and wants, your purpose in life, and the type of friends you need around you.

 -Knowing YOURSELF isn't only about finding out what makes you happy or mad but this step is crucial. It will help you move forward and help you grow mentally and give you a healthy life.

 Some people don't believe in mistakes, but in my case the mistakes that I made shaped me into the girl that I am today. I found out that I don't need to act or dress in a certain way in order to be noticed! At all time BE YOURSELF! Don't follow the crowd. When confused, you won't realize whose footsteps you're walking on until you turn around and see all the dust you left behind. Talking to someone closed to you can help you find yourself. Take some time off, meditate, enjoy some quiet time. You will then get to the second step which is knowing your purpose in life.

- What are YOUR purposes?

Do you know what you were created to do? I didn't know who I was and what I wanted to do with my life until I discovered the real me. What I went through made me realize that I need to help those in needs. 

Be a LEADER not a follower.

If you keep following the crowd you will never know your purposes, you will always be the go-getter, and always will help build another person's dream. What about yours? Don't you have any? To become a leader you have to take a step back from the crowd you're in, study your surrounding, and use a strategy that is unknown around you. By doing something that you've never done before you will be able to put a difference between your needs and wants.

- What do You want? What do You need?

Not everybody knows the difference between their needs and wants. People always get them mixed up. You need to recognize the things you can live without and the things you can't. Sometimes your needs and wants might cross path but you should know which to prioritize and follow. Everybody wants an easy life, everybody needs a dream to live on. But they don't know to put their needs first. Without your needs you won't be able to accomplish your wants. For instance you want your dream house, well you need to work for it. Understand?

- Who can You rely on?

We all need someone to talk to, to confine in, to help us grow. But you should know who are the ones who will help you grow, not the ones who will destroy you. How can you be so sure? Who are they? Where are they? People who help you build your dream, people who are by your side through your bad times, people who share your laughs and cries are the ones you should start looking for and stick by. Know your friends, know which family member wish the best for you. Those ones will never criticize or question your actions, they will  always give you advice. Never let go of these people.

 With that neighboring you will grow the way you're supposed to. You will have an healthy living, your stress level will decrease because they will share your pain and help you carry your burden. You won't be alone, lost and confused.

Following these steps were not easy for me, I had no guidance so I had to find a way to mature and leave my old ways behind. I was not happy but knowing who I am, knowing my purpose and putting a difference between my needs and wants, finding my crowd helped me be a better person.

Who doesn't want to be happy majority of the time? 

 

                    Anne Dorothée Constant