Should I wait for it, or should I look for it?
Am I being selfish for wanting to end it
Or am I for once pleasing myself?
What is like to die? And leave all those you loved behind? What is it like to leave so many sad faces and broken hearts? They call it death but its just a deep sleep ill be in. What is it like to be peaceful? To not feel any pain, to not feel weighted down by the hardship of life?
When I watch the dead, they seem relaxed, and well rested; but when I look around, the livings are tormented and broken. Is it what I want to keep on experiencing? Is it being selfish for not wanting to live another pain? Am I being ungrateful for the privilege given to me? Or does HE understand that I have no more strength left to fight? I won't live forever, I will die one day, but what if I choose the day, the time, and the place?
I love you all but if I stay wouldn't it mean that I hate myself? I want to know the true meaning of peace, I want to be unaware of negativity. I don't want to stay in a corner and be depressed! I want this weight to be lifted up from my heart, my shoulders and body. I care for you all but if being selfish means for me to be happy, let it be.
Because I'm tired of fighting an already lost war.
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